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I do not appreciate the way the text has been translated.It seems to me as if the translated text is a poem and the translator might not have tried to reach the depth wich we can find in it.It is what we call in french "une traduction juxtalinéaire ou mot à mot,it means a trans lation which does not consider a text as a whole,focusing on each word"

Hi TCHOUÉLA

Would you please tell us how you would transmit the depth you claim is in the text, into Spanish?

We always appreciate poetic licenses in our translations as long as they don't change the original intention of the author.

So, If you have a better idea, be at ease to put it forward.

Thanks.
Lilly.

I think translator tried to "reach the depth" and succeedeed to reach it in a brilliant way, from my personal opinion.

Since you said she didn't, TCHOUÉLA, could you illustrate what you said above just to show us how accurate your translation would have been?

je pense que. "partiste" est incorrect. mieux vaut utiliser : "Cuando te fuiste"
Zaizacan

Ese empleo del verbo partir en español no es natural

A mí ese uso del verbo partir sí que me suena natural en español, más aún en un contexto seudopoético como este.