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Prevođenje - Francuski-Engleski - Herbe douce

Trenutni statusPrevođenje
Ovaj tekst je dostupan u sljedećim jezicima: FrancuskiEngleski

Kategorija Pjesništvo - Obrazovanje

Naslov
Herbe douce
Izvorni jezik: Francuski

Herbe douce.
À son huitième jour Bergeronnette la bien nommée.
À sa huitième année Bergeronnette la bien aimée,
Sur un tronc sa tête éclatée .
Après huit années Bergeronnette,
Ton bourreau prisonnier, sa tête purifiée.
Paroles avouées, liberté affirmée .
Dans ton bec Bergeronnette une herbe douce, envolée
Primjedbe o prijevodu
RWANDA :
-Gacaca est le nom rwandais pour tribunal communautaire villageois. Gacaca signifie « herbe douce » en kinyarwanda, c’est-à-dire l'endroit où l'on se réunit.
-La bergeronnette (totem des Bagesera) bénéficie d'une interdiction protectrice. Celui qui la tue, membre ou non du clan correspondant, doit accomplir un certain rite de purification.

Naslov
Sweet Grass
Prevođenje
Engleski

Preveo babachiko
Ciljni jezik: Engleski

Sweet grass.

On the eighth day Wagtail, the well named.
On the eighth year Wagtail, the beloved one,
On a trunk its head burst.
After eight years, Wagtail,
Your henchman gaoled, his head purified.
Words admitted, freedom affirmed.
In your beak, Wagtail, a sweet grass, flying away
Posljednji potvrdio i uredio lilian canale - 18 kolovoz 2009 10:42





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17 kolovoz 2009 10:52

Francky5591
Broj poruka: 12396
Hi babachiko, at line 2 "bien aimée" in English is not "well named", it rather would be "beloved", (I don't know whether one could say "the well loved", maybe; the expert in English will confirm.

Best regards,

CC: lilian canale

17 kolovoz 2009 11:08

babachiko
Broj poruka: 11
You are right. I read the original text too quickly as "la bien nommée." For "bien aimée" I'd suggest "beloved".

17 kolovoz 2009 12:34

lilian canale
Broj poruka: 14972
But the first line says:
"la bien nommée"

17 kolovoz 2009 12:37

Francky5591
Broj poruka: 12396
Hehe! you did the same error this time, as 1st line reads "la bien nommée" ("the well named"
Only line 2 was to be edited!

Don't worry, I'll do it for you!

Have a nice day!

17 kolovoz 2009 12:37

Francky5591
Broj poruka: 12396
Sorry Lilian, I didn't see your post before sending mine!


17 kolovoz 2009 14:10

babachiko
Broj poruka: 11
My this is tricky. I should avoid poetry...

17 kolovoz 2009 15:25

gamine
Broj poruka: 4611
On a truck its burst head.

17 kolovoz 2009 15:38

babachiko
Broj poruka: 11
trunk (or stock)?, but not camion.

17 kolovoz 2009 17:49

Francky5591
Broj poruka: 12396
Lene probably did a typo and typed "truck" instead of "trunk", but what she was meaning is that it has to be "burst head" and not "head burst"

17 kolovoz 2009 20:21

Chiv
Broj poruka: 1
Le sens de cette traduction ne me semble pas assez fort + quelques erreurs :
Je remplacerais plutôt Sweet grass par soft grass.
On the eighth... par At its eighth day...
At its eighth YEAR (et non "day" sur la seconde ligne).
"On a trunk its burst head" me semble plus correct mais j'avoue avoir un doute sur "burst". Je vois plutôt "éclatée" dans le sens de broyée (par quelqu'un), donc éventuellement "crushed" me semble plus approprié.
"Henchman" n'est pas assez fort ici, je vois le bourreau dans le sens "tueur".
"Words acknowledged" n'est peut-être pas assez fort non plus, je verrais plus "confessed words".
Et à nouveau "soft grass" sur la dernière ligne.

17 kolovoz 2009 23:30

gamine
Broj poruka: 4611
Franck is right. It was a typo. Of course not "truck" but "trunk".

18 kolovoz 2009 07:16

IanMegill2
Broj poruka: 1671
Second line:
...eighth year...

Second to last line:
Words admitted,...

Apart from that, good job with a difficult text!