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Translation - English-Italian - Marine declaration

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กลุ่ม Poetry - Love / Friendship

Title
Marine declaration
Text
Submitted by Aneta B.
Source language: English Translated by AleksanderS

Marine declaration

Like the "Aphrodite" sailing ship
I'm approaching the port of
Your Loneliness

Like a nagging wave
I burst the rocks of
Your Sorrow

As a Cancer by Zodiac sign
I enter the beach of
Your Emptyness

As a delicate breeze
I blow across the spaces of
Your Silence

Title
Dichiarazione marina
Translation
Italian

Translated by brusurf
Target language: Italian

Dichiarazione marina

Come il veliero "Afrodite"
sto approdando al porto della
tua Solitudine

Come un'onda tormentosa
mi infrango sugli scogli della
tua Tristezza

Come il Cancro del segno dello Zodiaco
sbarco sulla spiaggia della
tua Vuotezza

Come una brezza delicata
spiro attraverso gli spazi del
tuo Silenzio


Remarks about the translation
Considering that you are making a "marine declaration" I've used marine italian terms instead of literal translation of the sigle words maintaning their original meaning.
Let me know if you are satisfied!
Please verify the spelling of Emptyness=Emptiness
BR
Brusurf
Validated by alexfatt - 15 October 2012 18:34





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8 October 2012 20:04

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Thanks brusurf!
I'm not that good at Italian, but your translation looks very nice to me.

@ Hi Lilly, could you please correct this one tiny typo in English version according to brusurf's suggestion in the remark field? Thanks!

CC: lilian canale

9 October 2012 10:55

brusurf
จำนวนข้อความ: 32
:-)

12 October 2012 20:45

alexfatt
จำนวนข้อความ: 1538
@Brusuf

Ottima traduzione, i miei complimenti!

Solo una cosa: che ne diresti di
"Come un'onda tormentosa
mi infrango sugli scogli della
tua Tristezza"


15 October 2012 10:20

brusurf
จำนวนข้อความ: 32
@ Alexfatt

Grazie!
Sì condivido suona meglio.
Grazie BR