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Translation - English-Latin - Brother, not a Lover

Current statusTranslation
This text is available in the following languages: EnglishLatin

Category Poetry - Love / Friendship

Title
Brother, not a Lover
Text
Submitted by redz21
Source language: English

You're really a beautiful soul
my Brother, my Hell, my Beloved...
How to tell you that I'm sorry, really sorry,
Blame me, Hate me, but don't give the word 'love' on me...
I'm not that worth.
Remarks about the translation
I want to give this 'note' to a person who's like a brother for me.

Title
Frater, non Amator
Translation
Latin

Translated by Aneta B.
Target language: Latin

Anima vere pulchra tu es
Frater meus, Tartarus meus, Amatus...
Quomodo tibi dicam me paenitere, vero paenitere,
Me reprehendeas, odio me habeas, sed me amorem noli vocare...
Usque adeo digna non sum.
Remarks about the translation
Amatus/Dilectus
Validated by Aneta B. - 6 September 2011 17:31





Last messages

Author
Message

30 August 2011 09:38

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
Female gender with "dignus" ("digna", maybe (cf the remark left by the requester )

30 August 2011 11:12

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
Already posted above (As I was asked by the server to develop my argumentation after having clicked on "the translation is right but might be improved"

30 August 2011 11:56

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
You are right, Francky! Thank you! I forgot the requester was female...

31 August 2011 10:59

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
Hi dear!

Now that you did the edit, my vote at the poll is "green", and not "blue" anymore!

Are you waiting for Efy's vote before validating?




31 August 2011 12:11

emaltotinn
Number of messages: 1
I think that "anima" is better than "animus"; "animus" is more like "spirit". Moreover, "my Brother etc." require the vocative: "mi frater, Tartare, dilecte" (and "dilectus" provides the text a nice "variatio" in reference to the verb "amare"

31 August 2011 15:10

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Dear Francky,
Yes, I'm waiting for Efee's opinion as usual when it concerns longer and more complicated texts.

---

Dear Efee,
Could you help me with an evaluation here? It's really difficult to deal with my own translations without your help...

---

Dear amaltoninn,
Thank you for your input.
Yes I agree that 'anima' would fit even better than 'animus' in this context.

But, it's not so obvious that the words in a second line are in the Vocative. They can be also in the Nonimative, don't you think?
I have connected them with the first line where we have "tu es" (you are).
tu es --> anima pulchra
tu es-->frater meus
tu es--> Tartarus meus
tu es--> amatus/dilectus meus

Of course your interpretation is also possible.
That's why I will ask the requester to clarify a meaning of the line.

---
Dear edz21,
Could you please tell us whether the words in a second line are in the Nominative and represent or describe the subject or they are in the Vocative case (=case of address), i.e. they "call" the subject.
Thank you.

My best regards

Aneta B.


31 August 2011 15:06

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Ooops! Serena?

CC: Efylove

2 September 2011 07:57

Efylove
Number of messages: 1015
Hi Aneta!
Sorry for the delay, I'm being very busy, but I'll tell you everything later.

Green light for your translation! Just a doubt abut "odio me habeas": why did you choose the subjunctive and not an imperative (as you did for "reprehende"?

However, as amaltoninn suggested, I will wait for edz21's answer about the second line, because it seems quite ambiguous (I also though they were vocative!).



2 September 2011 09:33

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Ha! Yes, first I had imperatives in both the verbs then I decided to change into subjunctive, but I have done it only with the one... Have no idea why... Thank you!

All right. Let's wait for the requester's explanations.

2 September 2011 23:41

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
redz21?
You logged in tonight, but didn't answer our question...

6 September 2011 17:29

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Since the requester has not replied (I understand he doesn't care anymore), I'm gonna accept the translation as it is. I'll make only the few changes that we agreed to.
Thanks to all of you for your help!