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Translation - English-Bosnian - The sun’s graze on the skin is heartbreak....

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Category Literature - Culture

Title
The sun’s graze on the skin is heartbreak....
Text
Submitted by piapoe
Source language: English

The sun’s graze on the skin is heartbreak.
Remarks about the translation
Complete paragraph for more context:
"Light creaks, whispers, sings. Voices reach, stretch on tiptoe, touch. A tangle with an unexpected memory makes hairs on forearms stand on end. Desire blows the mind. The sun’s graze on the skin is heartbreak. Joy is brushed in a green shadow. The naked eye sees momentarily into and through the stuff of things."


Title
Sunčev dodir na koži je čemeran.
Translation
Bosnian

Translated by DeMode
Target language: Bosnian

Sunčev dodir na koži je čemeran.
Remarks about the translation
Kompletan prevod paragrafa:
"Svjetlost škripi, šapuće, pjeva.Glasovi posežu, šunjaju se, dodiruju. Pomutnja izazvana neočekivanom uspomenom tjera na jezu. USunčev dodir na koži je čemeran. Radost blista u zelenoj sjenci. Golo oko vidi i gleda kroz bit svih stvari."
Validated by maki_sindja - 5 April 2011 15:10





Last messages

Author
Message

17 January 2010 13:17

ljiljana_22
Number of messages: 15
gdje je prevedena rečenica 'Desire blows the mind'.The sun’s graze on the skin is heartbreak/Udar sunca na kožu je srčani udar- ovo nema smisla, potpuno promašeno. možda bi više odgovaralo 'dodir sunca na koži je bolno žaljenje', u ostalom u kakvom je ovo kontekstu, o čemu se radi?

18 January 2010 13:55

piapoe
Number of messages: 28
Hej,
snašla sam se vec, hvla na brizi. Znam da ovi prevodi nisu bas nesto. U svom tekstu sam prevela otprilike: "Sunčev dodir na koži je čemeran". Tekst je poetska vizija o poeziji jedne makedonske pjesnikinje.

16 February 2010 20:01

MozakStrokavi
Number of messages: 26
Heartbreak se obično prevodi kao shrvanost od tuge, slomljeno srce, ne prevodi se bukvalno. Ljepše bi zvučalo da kažeš glasovi dopiru. Nije prevedeno Desire blows the mind. I ima još nekih sitnih greški. Po mom mišljenju

16 July 2010 22:15

piapoe
Number of messages: 28
Mislim da naslov ne treba biti tako doslovno preveden jer se time gubi na poetičnosti, a i ne funkcionira dobro u jeziku. Glasovi ne "dolaze" već "posežu". Sve ostalo mislim da je vjerno i kvalitetno prevedeno.

20 January 2011 02:00

zakeralo
Number of messages: 40
Mislim da je bolje eko poetičnije značenje, kao npr: dodir sunca na koži slama srce...ili tako nešto

5 April 2011 02:05

maki_sindja
Number of messages: 1206
I like piapoe's suggestion: "Sunčev dodir na koži je čemeran".
This text shouldn't be translated word by word and this is the most appropriate way.

We shouldn't discuss text given in the remarks field, it is written only to help us understand the context. If piapoe needs it in English too, she can submit a new request and write complete paragraph into the main field. But I think she finished with it long ago.

Lili, maybe you can edit and evaluate this translation.
Sorry for bothering

CC: lilian canale