Varlığın öyle bi sevinçki burnumda çilekli sakızımın kokusu Dertlerimi sayfa sayfa savurdum mümkünse gelmesin yenisi Zaman ne demek adını sende unuttum biliyorsa sölesin birisi Gel saklanalım hiç bi ayrılık bulmasın bizi <3
Your being is such a joy, inside my nose there is the smell of a strawberry chewing gum. Page by page I´ve thrown away my problems, there won´t be any new ones. With you I´ve forgotten what exactly time means. If anybody knows, he should tell me. Come on, let´s hide! Any separation won´t find us.
Последнее изменение было внесено пользователем Lein - 3 Февраль 2010 14:12
- smell (not smel)
- It rather seems to me from the German text that the problems have been scattered (like thrown to the wind, as dust). Spread can have the same meaning but here, spread doesn't quite work I think.
- a more common way of saying there won't come any new ones is 'there won't be any new ones' ('there' doesn't combine comfortably with 'come').
- word order: 'what exactly time means' sounds more natural to me than 'what time exactly means'.
- I think 'separation won't find us' is closer to the original.
What do you think of these suggestions? If you agree, please edit and leave a message and I'll set a poll. If you don't agree, please let me know!