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Translation - Polish-French - Na przyszłość platoniczną...

Current statusTranslation
This text is available in the following languages: PolishEnglishFrenchItalian

Category Poetry - Love / Friendship

Title
Na przyszłość platoniczną...
Text
Submitted by Aneta B.
Source language: Polish

Na przyszłość platoniczną

Marzeniem swoim
dotykam Twej twarzy
świeci miłością
zapowiadając wierność
w platonicznej przyszłości

Bezpieczna Twa obecność
zapewnia radość istnienia
zapewnia ciepłe milczenie
w zimÄ™ naszego trwania OBOK
Remarks about the translation
British English, please.

Title
Pour un futur platonique
Translation
French

Translated by gamine
Target language: French

Pour un futur platonique

Avec mon rêve
Je touche votre visage
qui rayonne d'amour
prédisant la fidélité
dans un avenir platonique

Votre présence à l'abri
assure la joie de l'existence
assure le silence chaud
tout au long de l'hiver, côte à côte.
Validated by Francky5591 - 21 October 2012 18:05





Last messages

Author
Message

20 October 2012 12:06

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Thanks, Lene, for the traslation!
I just wanted to say that the first line is missing.
You haven't translated: "For a platonic future..." (a tittle).

21 October 2012 02:58

gamine
Number of messages: 4611
Sorry Aneta. have edited.

It's a very, very beautiful poem. It really touched me.

21 October 2012 11:41

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Thank you, Lene! And it sounds magnificent in French (to me).
One question: Is it possible to make the last line shorter?

I know English line is a long one too, but Polish is pretty short as you see. I think it would be ok if we wrote:

"throughout the winter of our living BESIDE"
(this is actually what the Polish line says)

21 October 2012 13:43

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Hi Aneta,

I noticed the English version was evaluated 2 years ago and apparently at that time we didn't try to make the last line shorter. Do you want me to do it now so that the next languages to be translated will not have the same problem?

If so...what about:
"all over the winter living beside"?

21 October 2012 14:18

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
Hi Lilly,

Yes, it would fit perfectly here.
Thank you for your help and watchfulness.

21 October 2012 14:25

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
BTW. I'm sorry it seems I became more demanding after these two years.

21 October 2012 14:27

lilian canale
Number of messages: 14972
Done!

21 October 2012 18:04

Francky5591
Number of messages: 12396
I edited the French version accordingly (shortening last line)

21 October 2012 21:26

Aneta B.
Number of messages: 4487
côte à côte! Super!

I just wanted to point out that in the expression "winter living" the "winter" is an adjective for "living" ...

Thank you very much, Lene, Lilly and Francky - the best team ever!