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333Traducerea - Engleză-Finlandeză - The most beautiful dream I've ever had ...

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Categorie Poezie

Titlu
The most beautiful dream I've ever had ...
Text
Înscris de emre87
Limba sursă: Engleză Tradus de kafetzou

The most beautiful dream I have ever had is the one with you in it, the deepest love I have ever felt is your creation! The most beautiful world I have ever seen is your eyes, and the most beautiful vision I have ever had is you!

Titlu
Kaikkein kaunein unelma minulla on..
Traducerea
Finlandeză

Tradus de itsatrap100
Limba ţintă: Finlandeză

Kaikkein kaunein koskaan näkemäni uni on se, missä sinä olet mukana, syvin koskaan tuntemani rakkaus on sinun luomasi! Kaikkein kaunein koskaan näkemäni maailma on sinun silmäsi, ja sinä olet kaikkein kaunein koskaan näkemäni näky!
Validat sau editat ultima dată de către Maribel - 19 Ianuarie 2009 13:23





Ultimele mesaje

Autor
Mesaj

22 Decembrie 2008 14:11

Maribel
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 871
Tämä on paljon parempi.

Nopeasti luettuna seuraavat kohdat erityisesti häiritsivät
-unelma > uni
-luomastasi > luomaasi (verbistä), luomuksesi (substantiivista), ehkä vielä lisäisin "sinun"
-ilmestys > näky

Lisäksi miettisin joka/mikä -sanojen käyttöä sekä se-sanan tarvetta eka rivin 9. ja 10. sanan väliin.

26 Decembrie 2008 14:40

Donna22
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 75
....uni, joka minulla on koskaan ollut, on se missä sinä olet mukana.

30 Decembrie 2008 14:56

Maribel
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 871
Mahtaisiko tästä tulla parempi, jos käyttäisi olla-verbin sijasta nähdä-verbiä? Suomeksihan nähdään unia ja näkyjä... Hmm, johtaa toistoon, mutta kumpi onpi parempi?

Yritän kuitenkin korjata pronomineja ensin, katsotaan, miltä se sitten näyttää.

7 Ianuarie 2009 15:08

mikalaari
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 28
The Finnish translation follows quite closely the English one. I don't know Turkish but it seems that the text here uses more compact expressions (i.e. fewer words) than English, and similar grammatical structures could be used also in Finnish maybe. For example, I believe that 'en guzel' means 'that I have seen' which could be written 'näkemäni' in Finnish instead of 'jonka olen nähnyt'.

10 Ianuarie 2009 16:07

itsatrap100
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 279
Changed to newspaper style embedded clauses.

19 Ianuarie 2009 13:19

Maribel
Numărul mesajelor scrise: 871
Now I think we have reached a good text. People are often afraid of changing phrase structure when translating. Using compact style if more "finnish" than several short relative clauses.

I changed "luomuksesi" to "luomasi" (with one "a" because luomus has also a connotation of being pretended or fake. Using verb based expression I feel it means that you really have created the feeling. Also added "sinun" with silmäsi because it emphasizes "you" and in my opinion suits well here. (Quite the contrary that I normally do in Cucumis when I take pronouns away because suffix already tell the same story. In a normal phrase extra pronoun is too much, but different here.) Also punctuation changed to fit this new structure.