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333Prevođenje - Engleski-Finski - The most beautiful dream I've ever had ...

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Naslov
The most beautiful dream I've ever had ...
Tekst
Poslao emre87
Izvorni jezik: Engleski Preveo kafetzou

The most beautiful dream I have ever had is the one with you in it, the deepest love I have ever felt is your creation! The most beautiful world I have ever seen is your eyes, and the most beautiful vision I have ever had is you!

Naslov
Kaikkein kaunein unelma minulla on..
Prevođenje
Finski

Preveo itsatrap100
Ciljni jezik: Finski

Kaikkein kaunein koskaan näkemäni uni on se, missä sinä olet mukana, syvin koskaan tuntemani rakkaus on sinun luomasi! Kaikkein kaunein koskaan näkemäni maailma on sinun silmäsi, ja sinä olet kaikkein kaunein koskaan näkemäni näky!
Posljednji potvrdio i uredio Maribel - 19 siječanj 2009 13:23





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22 prosinac 2008 14:11

Maribel
Broj poruka: 871
Tämä on paljon parempi.

Nopeasti luettuna seuraavat kohdat erityisesti häiritsivät
-unelma > uni
-luomastasi > luomaasi (verbistä), luomuksesi (substantiivista), ehkä vielä lisäisin "sinun"
-ilmestys > näky

Lisäksi miettisin joka/mikä -sanojen käyttöä sekä se-sanan tarvetta eka rivin 9. ja 10. sanan väliin.

26 prosinac 2008 14:40

Donna22
Broj poruka: 75
....uni, joka minulla on koskaan ollut, on se missä sinä olet mukana.

30 prosinac 2008 14:56

Maribel
Broj poruka: 871
Mahtaisiko tästä tulla parempi, jos käyttäisi olla-verbin sijasta nähdä-verbiä? Suomeksihan nähdään unia ja näkyjä... Hmm, johtaa toistoon, mutta kumpi onpi parempi?

Yritän kuitenkin korjata pronomineja ensin, katsotaan, miltä se sitten näyttää.

7 siječanj 2009 15:08

mikalaari
Broj poruka: 28
The Finnish translation follows quite closely the English one. I don't know Turkish but it seems that the text here uses more compact expressions (i.e. fewer words) than English, and similar grammatical structures could be used also in Finnish maybe. For example, I believe that 'en guzel' means 'that I have seen' which could be written 'näkemäni' in Finnish instead of 'jonka olen nähnyt'.

10 siječanj 2009 16:07

itsatrap100
Broj poruka: 279
Changed to newspaper style embedded clauses.

19 siječanj 2009 13:19

Maribel
Broj poruka: 871
Now I think we have reached a good text. People are often afraid of changing phrase structure when translating. Using compact style if more "finnish" than several short relative clauses.

I changed "luomuksesi" to "luomasi" (with one "a" because luomus has also a connotation of being pretended or fake. Using verb based expression I feel it means that you really have created the feeling. Also added "sinun" with silmäsi because it emphasizes "you" and in my opinion suits well here. (Quite the contrary that I normally do in Cucumis when I take pronouns away because suffix already tell the same story. In a normal phrase extra pronoun is too much, but different here.) Also punctuation changed to fit this new structure.