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Translation - Spanish-English - Siempre seras la niña que me llena el alma como...

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Title
Siempre seras la niña que me llena el alma como...
Text
Submitted by أوتار
Source language: Spanish

Siempre seras la niña que me llena el alma
como un mar inquieto como un mar en calma
siempre tan lejana como el horizonte
gritando en el silencio tu nombre en mis labios
solo queda el eco de mi desengaño
sigo aqui en mi sueño de seguirte amando
Remarks about the translation
In British or Amirican Languge :)
Thankes

Title
You will always be...
Translation
English

Translated by ellasevia
Target language: English

You will always be the girl that fulfills my soul
like a stormy sea, like a calm sea
always as far away as the horizon
screaming in the silence your name on my lips
just the echo of my disappointment remains
I stay here in my dream of continuing to love you
Validated by lilian canale - 3 April 2009 16:30





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3 April 2009 01:04

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hola ellasevia,

Good to see you around

This is a very good translation, except for the last two lines. They should read:
"just the echo of my disappointment remains
I stay here in my dream of keeping loving you"

However, since the original is rhymed, I'd like you to release your poetic vein and try to get some rhyme in English too.

Will you try?

3 April 2009 01:48

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
I see you won't.

Here's my try, then:

You will always be the girl fulfilling my soul
like a restless sea, like a sea when lull
always as distant as the horizon,
yelling in the silence your name on my lips.
Just the echo of my disillusion is left
In my dream of keeping loving you, I rest.


What do you think?

3 April 2009 01:50

ellasevia
จำนวนข้อความ: 145
That sounds great. Sorry for not getting back sooner. The only thing I would say sounds better in English is "In my dream of continuing to love you" instead of "n my dream of keeping loving you."

3 April 2009 01:53

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Yeah, you're right. It sounds smoother

3 April 2009 01:55

ellasevia
จำนวนข้อความ: 145
Okay, I will change it to your version.

3 April 2009 01:58

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
You don't have to. Your version is at the poll. I just wanted to try the rhyme. I can't help it Every time a poem shows up I don't resist

3 April 2009 02:06

ellasevia
จำนวนข้อความ: 145
Oh, okay. It won't let me anyways.

3 April 2009 11:47

xristi
จำนวนข้อความ: 217
lejana -> distant

seguirte amando -> keep loving you