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Translation - Persian language-English - كودكي ياد گرفتم كه مي خواست آب شور

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Title
كودكي ياد گرفتم كه مي خواست آب شور
Text
Submitted by scribleofbaja
Source language: Persian language

مهرباني را از كودكي ياد گرفتم كه مي خواست آب شور دريا را با آبنياتش شيرين كند

اگر كسي را دوست داري به او بگو، زيرا قلبها معمولاً‌ با كلماتي كه ناگفته مي ماند، ميشكنند
Remarks about the translation
Would like to get translated into english/U.S.
This is from a friends blog site and cannot find an online translator for Farsi/Persian only Arabic, and that does not give best results.

Title
I learned kindness from the child who...
Translation
English

Translated by ghasemkiani
Target language: English

I learned kindness from the child who tried to sweeten the salty sea water with his candy.
If you love someone, tell him/her, because the hearts are usually broken by those words that remain unsaid.
Validated by lilian canale - 18 February 2009 23:13





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10 February 2009 14:41

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hi ghasemkiani,

I'd say:
"... because the unsaid words are what breaks the hearts."

What do you think?

10 February 2009 16:10

ghasemkiani
จำนวนข้อความ: 175
Hello,

Thanks for the suggestion. Your expression sounds better, but shouldn't it be "are what break the hearts" (plural)? Besides, can we somehow insert the word "usually" in it?

On the other hand, the structure "it is ... that ..." is quite common and valid in English. My only doubt is about the "words" being plural and maybe somehow inconsistent with "it is".

10 February 2009 16:26

ghasemkiani
จำนวนข้อความ: 175
Lilian,

Please see this translation, too:

"... because the hearts are usually broken by the words that remain untold."

This is an exact translation of the Persian source. Do you agree with this translation?

10 February 2009 16:32

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
The verb could be plural in a different structure, ie:

"the unsaid words are those which break the hearts"
but 'what' takes a singular form, like in:
"Honesty and hard work are what matters"

And you can insert "usually", of course.

{edit} About that other version, yes it's fine to me. I'd just change "the words" into "those words" and "untold"' into "unsaid".

10 February 2009 16:36

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
That's a beautiful thought.

10 February 2009 16:37

ghasemkiani
จำนวนข้อความ: 175
Many thanks for all your valuable help, lilian canale. I changed "untold" to "unsaid", using the new version of the translation.