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Tercüme - Almanca-İngilizce - Wundenhaupt

Şu anki durumTercüme
Bu yazının aşağıdaki dillerde karşılığı vardır: Almancaİngilizce

Kategori Sarki

Başlık
Wundenhaupt
Metin
Öneri Freya
Kaynak dil: Almanca

Auf dunklen Bänken sitzen sie gedrängt
Und heben die erlosch`nen Blicke auf
Zum Kreuz. Die Lichter schimmern wie verhängt,
Und trüb und wie verhängt das Wundenhaupt.
Çeviriyle ilgili açıklamalar
I would like to have translated only this first part of the song 'Die tote Kirche', by L'Âme Immortelle.
Thank you. :)

Başlık
On dark benches they sit closelyAnd ...
Tercüme
İngilizce

Çeviri Zwenni
Hedef dil: İngilizce

On dark benches they sit closely
And rise the extinct gazes up
To the cross. The lights shimmer as if covered,
And hazy and as if covered, the wounded head.
En son Lein tarafından onaylandı - 9 Eylül 2010 14:21





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7 Eylül 2010 11:59

Lein
Mesaj Sayısı: 3389
Hi Zwenni,

This looks good. I've set a poll to get some imput from others.

Just a style-related remark:

I think 'as if' would sound better here than 'like', in both cases, but especially in the last sentence. Do you agree? Let me konw what you think!
Thanks

7 Eylül 2010 12:53

Zwenni
Mesaj Sayısı: 4
Hi Lein,

you are right. I totally agree on your remark and would change "like" to "as if" in both cases

Regards
Zwenni

7 Eylül 2010 14:52

Lein
Mesaj Sayısı: 3389
This is a remark from Lilian; see if you agree:

My doubt is if "woundhead" is a noun in English. Shouldn't it be "the wounded head"?

If so, then I think a comma is needed.

"...and (also? ) hazy and as if covered, the wounded head."

7 Eylül 2010 15:53

Zwenni
Mesaj Sayısı: 4
Again, I have to agree

I would use:

"and hazy and as if covered, the wounded head."

7 Eylül 2010 15:56

Lein
Mesaj Sayısı: 3389
Done!
Thank you!