Auf dunklen Bänken sitzen sie gedrängt Und heben die erlosch`nen Blicke auf Zum Kreuz. Die Lichter schimmern wie verhängt, Und trüb und wie verhängt das Wundenhaupt.
给这篇翻译加备注
I would like to have translated only this first part of the song 'Die tote Kirche', by L'Âme Immortelle. Thank you. :)
On dark benches they sit closely And rise the extinct gazes up To the cross. The lights shimmer as if covered, And hazy and as if covered, the wounded head.
This looks good. I've set a poll to get some imput from others.
Just a style-related remark:
I think 'as if' would sound better here than 'like', in both cases, but especially in the last sentence. Do you agree? Let me konw what you think!
Thanks
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Done!