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Translation - Turkish-English - Bu şehir yerden bile ağır bu gece...

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กลุ่ม Poetry

Title
Bu şehir yerden bile ağır bu gece...
Text
Submitted by smy
Source language: Turkish

Bu şehir yerden bile ağır bu gece
Altında tek bir ölü olsun kalmamış
Ölenlerdir incelten hafifleten oysa
Uçacakmış gibi yapan şehirleri.
Remarks about the translation
Bu bir şiirdir ve ve mümkün olduğu kadar şiirsel çevrilmesini istiyorum, kendim sadece kafiyeli yapabildim.

Title
This city is heavier even than the earth tonight
Translation
High quality requiredEnglish

Translated by kafetzou
Target language: English

This city is heavier even than the earth tonight
Not one dead person left underneath
But it is the dead that make cities
Thin and light as if to take flight
Validated by samanthalee - 6 August 2007 01:52





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3 August 2007 08:01

serba
จำนวนข้อความ: 655
If there was one dead person underneath, no more

there was not even a dead person left underneath

iki cümle aynı anlamda ise doğru,değilse senin çevirin anlam olarak yanlış.

CC: kafetzou

3 August 2007 08:00

serba
จำนวนข้อความ: 655
not even a dead person left underneath


benim önerim bu cümle eğer sence doğruysa şayet...

3 August 2007 15:04

kafetzou
จำนวนข้อความ: 7963
Thanks, serba - I think I hadn't understood the original (olsun kalmamış).

CC: serba

4 August 2007 02:20

samanthalee
จำนวนข้อความ: 235
This is in singular, isn't it?
it is the dying that makes cities

CC: kafetzou

4 August 2007 04:14

kafetzou
จำนวนข้อความ: 7963
No - it's plural: the dying (people).

CC: samanthalee

4 August 2007 10:47

smy
จำนวนข้อความ: 2481
can't it be more poetic than this? and does "the dead" and "the dying" mean the same? çünkü burada "ölenler" "ölüyor olanlar değil" "ölü olanlar" anlamına geliyor

4 August 2007 15:11

kafetzou
จำนวนข้อความ: 7963
ölenler ölüler ile aynı mı?

4 August 2007 15:15

smy
จำนวนข้อความ: 2481
evet aynı

4 August 2007 15:17

kafetzou
จำนวนข้อความ: 7963
O zaman yanlış çevirdim. Değiştireceğim.

4 August 2007 15:19

kafetzou
จำนวนข้อความ: 7963
Tantine, if you've recovered from your hornet sting, could you give another shot at making this poetic, but without rhyme?

CC: Tantine

4 August 2007 21:08

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi

I'll have a try

This city is heavier than the ground tonight
No dead are left beneath
But it is death that lightens cities
Thin enough to take flight

I cant help but make the last line rhyme. It's a very short line and thyping seems to be the only way to make it "stick" to the text.

I can have another try in the morning if this is still not up to the mark.

Bises
Tantine

4 August 2007 23:43

kafetzou
จำนวนข้อความ: 7963
smy, do you like Tantine's version better? If so, I'll edit it with this one.

CC: smy

5 August 2007 06:08

smy
จำนวนข้อความ: 2481
don't change it, it's okey. Thank you all Kafetzou, Tantine and Serba!

5 August 2007 06:14

Tantine
จำนวนข้อความ: 2747
Hi All,

Glad I could help

Bises
Tantine