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Translation - Polish-English - Metamorfoza życia

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กลุ่ม Poetry - Love / Friendship

Title
Metamorfoza życia
Text
Submitted by Aneta B.
Source language: Polish

Metamorfoza życia

nie pamięta już
dlaczego chciała umrzeć
dlaczego
skrycie umierała
pozwoliła na bezsens
nie rozumiała że życie
panta rhei
metamorfoza nieustajÄ…ca
raniÄ…ca
że jednak pełna nadziei
jutro też jest dzień
ciekawe
co siÄ™ we mnie
zmieni
Remarks about the translation
British English

Title
Metamorphosis of life
Translation
English

Translated by iluvmilka
Target language: English

Metamorphosis of life

She no longer remembers
Why she wanted to die
Why
She's been dying secretly
And let the nonsense stay*
And didn't understand that life
"panta rhei"
The constant metamorphosis,
Hurting
Yet still full of hope
Tomorrow is another day
I wonder
What is going to change
In me
Remarks about the translation
* - it's not the exact translation, but as long as the requester accepts it, it's fine:)
Validated by lilian canale - 8 October 2009 16:12





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6 October 2009 11:35

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
"panta rhei" isn't Latin, but transliteration of Antient Greek sentence ("everything flows"?)
Yes, I wanted to leave the tranliterated version.

Well, Ania, I wouldn't use unpersonal "it" here. The author of the poem ( ) is the unspecified subject ... So, you can use optionally "she" hehe...

6 October 2009 14:46

iluvmilka
จำนวนข้อความ: 77
riiight ... i didn't know that, i should have asked you first. I'll correct it in a second

6 October 2009 17:12

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
This looks good to me
I'd just put "panta rhei" in quotation marks and remove that "to" before "stay"

7 October 2009 11:59

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
That's great for me, but one line:"(She)Doesn’t remember" - can we remove "(she)"?

7 October 2009 17:12

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
What about: "Wondering"?

7 October 2009 19:46

iluvmilka
จำนวนข้อความ: 77
where would you put "wondering"?

7 October 2009 20:10

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Instead of :"(She)Doesn’t remember"

7 October 2009 21:59

iluvmilka
จำนวนข้อความ: 77
sounds good to me Aneta, what do you think?

8 October 2009 09:38

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Why, don't translate it directly from Polish?

nie pamięta już =she hasn't remember yet


8 October 2009 12:41

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
I thought you didn't want 'she' to be used

8 October 2009 12:55

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
I didn't want only brackets

8 October 2009 13:07

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Oh, OK

8 October 2009 13:16

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Thank you, dear Lilly!
And let the nonsense stay* is also perfect here!

8 October 2009 14:26

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Oh, Lilly, I don't know if "still" is good here:
She still hasn't remembered

Literally this line means:
She hasn't remember anymore...

8 October 2009 16:13

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Aneta, I used 'still' because you had used 'yet' in your post (she hasn't remembered yet ), but if you say it should be "anymore" then the verb tense should also change.
"She doesn't remember anymore" or "She no longer remembers"

8 October 2009 15:43

Aneta B.
จำนวนข้อความ: 4487
Wow! Of course. I sometimes don't know which tense is correct... Still learning...
Thank you, Lilly!