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Translation - Duits-Engels - Wundenhaupt

Current statusTranslation
This text is available in the following languages: DuitsEngels

Category Song

Title
Wundenhaupt
Text
Submitted by Freya
Source language: Duits

Auf dunklen Bänken sitzen sie gedrängt
Und heben die erlosch`nen Blicke auf
Zum Kreuz. Die Lichter schimmern wie verhängt,
Und trüb und wie verhängt das Wundenhaupt.
Remarks about the translation
I would like to have translated only this first part of the song 'Die tote Kirche', by L'Âme Immortelle.
Thank you. :)

Title
On dark benches they sit closelyAnd ...
Translation
Engels

Translated by Zwenni
Target language: Engels

On dark benches they sit closely
And rise the extinct gazes up
To the cross. The lights shimmer as if covered,
And hazy and as if covered, the wounded head.
Laaste geakkrediteerde redigering deur Lein - 9 September 2010 14:21





Last messages

Author
Message

7 September 2010 11:59

Lein
Number of messages: 3389
Hi Zwenni,

This looks good. I've set a poll to get some imput from others.

Just a style-related remark:

I think 'as if' would sound better here than 'like', in both cases, but especially in the last sentence. Do you agree? Let me konw what you think!
Thanks

7 September 2010 12:53

Zwenni
Number of messages: 4
Hi Lein,

you are right. I totally agree on your remark and would change "like" to "as if" in both cases

Regards
Zwenni

7 September 2010 14:52

Lein
Number of messages: 3389
This is a remark from Lilian; see if you agree:

My doubt is if "woundhead" is a noun in English. Shouldn't it be "the wounded head"?

If so, then I think a comma is needed.

"...and (also? ) hazy and as if covered, the wounded head."

7 September 2010 15:53

Zwenni
Number of messages: 4
Again, I have to agree

I would use:

"and hazy and as if covered, the wounded head."

7 September 2010 15:56

Lein
Number of messages: 3389
Done!
Thank you!