The Mayor of Ialissos Municipality certifies that: The below-mentioned citizen is registered in the Municipal Roll of Municipality of Ialissos, under the family entry number 1464 (former 1464) and (member entry/) order number 4 (former 4), with the following particulars:..."
הערות לגבי התרגום
and his registration bears the following particulars:..."
I'd like to suggest some changes: "The Mayor of Ialissos Municipality certifies that:
The below-mentioned citizen is registered in the Municipal Roll of Municipality of Ialissos, under the family entry number 1464 (former 1464) and (member entry/) order number 4 (former 4) of the Municipal Roll, (and his registration bears/) with the following particulars:..."
Hi!
I think all your changes are acceptable and improve the translation, but I wouldn't add the final "..of the Municipal Roll", because it semms to me it is repeated too many times in the sentence. Other than that, it's perfect!
Thank you!