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Translation - Italian-English - Desidero il tuo bacio

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กลุ่ม Poetry - Love / Friendship

This translation request is "Meaning only".
Title
Desidero il tuo bacio
Text
Submitted by blood
Source language: Italian

Desidero il tuo bacio
come la ruota del mulino
attende l'acqua.
Remarks about the translation
Haiku in italiano.
Tema: amore.
Caratteristiche: 3 versi, una similitudine.
Tradurre in inglese (Inghilterra).

Title
I desire your kiss
Translation
English

Translated by alexfatt
Target language: English

I desire your kiss
just like the wheel of a mill
waits for the water
Validated by lilian canale - 13 May 2011 16:19





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13 May 2011 14:37

lilian canale
จำนวนข้อความ: 14972
Hi Alex,

I see that the Italian version didn't take into account the traditional (or most usual) structure of a haiku that is 3 lines containing 5 syllables in the first and third lines and 7 syllables in the second. Since that is possible to abtain in English without changing the meaning of the original in Italian, I'd suggest:

I desire your kiss
just like the wheel of a mill
waits for the water


What do you think?

13 May 2011 16:09

alexfatt
จำนวนข้อความ: 1538
Well, that's great! Thank you