What about:
"Because of your leaving, something died inside me."
"When everything seems wretched without you here."
That is incomplete. Are you sure it's "when"?
"I'm longing to take your both (?) hands."
I'd say: "I miss holding your hands" (I don't think that "both" is necessary since it's understood that we "usually" have two hands )
"Because of your leaving, something died inside me." is good!
I checked the word "Þó" another time, and maybe it's better to write "Still everything seems wretched ..." ?
Yes, it's more logical to write the way you put it "I miss holding your hands", but the source text is that way (your both hands )....Can one write "I'm longing to take your hands." instead?
"Everything still seems wretched without you here" would be fine.
You ask: Can one write "I'm longing to take your hands." instead?
"I long for holding your hands" would be acceptable.
One longs for something and for "hands" we would usually use "hold", that means not only take them but keep them. See what I mean?